The relationship between spontaneity, anxiety and magic has become an interesting exploration for me over the years. I have noticed that my desire to plan reduces the amount of anxiety I feel however sometimes I suspect it reduces the opportunity for magic to come into my life. During the Summer I had committed to exploring spontaneity and adventure. This had emanated from two evenings spent with a dear friend where I had drawn the Tarot cards Spontaneity and Adventure. It seems like a fun project. It would test my belief regarding anxiety and spontaneity and magic.
The first consequence of engaging with this energy of spontaneity and adventure was to realize I needed to plan less and wait for signs and synchronicity‘s to occur. This was relatively easy while I was in Vancouver until I came across my desire to book my fall trip to the UK. I decided to wait for a sign that it was the right time. This created anxiety as the weeks ticked away and my trip was not manifesting. And then the magic occurred. I received an email about a retreat in Crete. As I read through the details, it was as though my heart said “yes” and with no delay I reserved a spot and booked my trip including an additional four weeks in the UK. I had a wonderful ten days in Crete with a group of kindred souls exploring the energies of the Greek gods and goddesses and how they are still alive as archetypes today. Had I booked earlier I would not have had this experience.
Then it was off to England where apart from an initial four nights in London to visit my brother and the following week to visit my sister in Devon, I had nothing planned for almost 3 weeks.
My sister had not been feeling up to hosting and I offered to find my own place to stay. As a consequence I had an amazing five days at a beautiful four-star hotel overlooking Saunton Sands Beach. So far my spontaneity was working well.
The next part of my trip was expected to be a visit to my elder sister and her family in Cornwall. My recent pattern has been to do a simple drop in for tea then continue on to Penzance one of my favourite parts of England. However my sister, due to her husband’s health, felt it would be too much so I had a vacuum for the next part of my trip.
My younger brother suggested a town in south Devon called Totnes that I had never visited. It was on the main rail line so I found an Airbnb and ventured off to explore. It is a delightful country town that has an old castle that was built 1100 years ago. It also has a modern abbey close by built on the original medieval site and also provides easy access to the south Devon coast and the Dartmouth estuary. I spent a delightful couple of days roaming on the bus and dodging rain storms.
The other spontaneous decision I made was to take the train for almost 400 miles to Newcastle on Tyne to trace my family routes. This came about when my sister urged me to make the trip as I had talked about it for years. Six hours from Totnes I found myself spending an amazing three days discovering where my Dad had grown up. It felt very fulfilling.
Finally I realized I wanted to spend the last two weeks of my trip in London but on my own not with family so I got myself a studio flat in Bloomsbury, close to the British Museum and a 25 minute walk to the west end. Bliss! I went to five west end shows, unexpected encountered a friend from Vancouver, met up individually with my brothers three children and dropped in a number of galleries, museums and parks. Finally my brother invited me back for a few days before I left. It was a great trip and I was surprised how little anxiety was provoked by the uncertainty and how much magic had unfolded.
So it was an easy decision to commit to the same strategy on my current trip to Mexico. As my departure approached and I had nowhere to stay I noticed significantly increased anxiety, I searched Expedia, Booking and Airbnb but nothing resonated. A week after watching the availabilities diminish, I wondered if it was time to abandon this strategy. Then a friend of mine contacted me from Sayulita. She was wanted to know where I drank coffee. This became a serendipity as it reminded me that the owner and his wife had rooms for rent at a very reasonable rate. She agreed to pop in and check to find out they had just been renovated and there was space available it was the sign I was seeking so I booked the first week of four.
The room was large, had rudimentary cooking facilities but no patio or deck so it was not as magical as I had hoped. My friend had warned me that Sayulita was getting busier and busier. I have been going there fifteen years and the growth has been exponential. I found out after I arrived that there were few good places available over the holiday and the idea of being spontaneous was diminishing each day. I had to leave my current place on the 21st and begun to worry where I was going to go.
My friend had suggested moving to a small town just up the coast called San Pancho. I decided on a day trip to explore. I took the bus, missed my stop and ended up miles away in Lo de Marcos. I wondered if this was the sign I was looking for, and walked into the somewhat dowdy looking town. It had possibilities but there was no accommodation close to the beach and that put me off.
I retraced my journey and this time knew where to get off. It was a mile walk to the town of San Pancho. When I arrived I walked to the beach for a smoothie and checked the accommodation availability. To my horror most of it was sold out. This spontaneity thing sucked! Anxiety was mounting. As I disconsolately walked back to the main drag I found myself strolling through the grounds of the what seemed to be a beautiful, oceanfront hotel. I was in a guest’s only area and the receptionist was curious. With little expectation that there would be space I asked the question and the predictable response was we are sold out. Then she paused, checked her computer and told me they had a room until the 30th December.
So here I am, believing in magic once again but recognizing there can be a price to pay in anxiety, uncertainty and increased stress and there are no guarantees. Once I got back to Sayulita I decided the experiment was over, the price of spontaneity perhaps too high at Christmas and booked the rest of my trip. A good job I did as over new year there was almost nothing left and I got the what was likely the last decent room in Sayulita but way out of town.
Reflecting on my experience I recalled eminent Jungian analyst James Hollis suggesting that we each need to serve the mystery within us because that connects to the mystery outside. I sense the mystery inside was to honour this exploration of spontaneity and adventure. The correspondence from outside are the signs, synchronicity and serendipity that show up. However this service to the mystery does not guarantee comfort or reduced stress. It is the act of service to something that makes it significant; it can be rewarded by magic. Perhaps Christmas and New Year was not the ideal time for this experiment. I am reminded me of the great Rev. Marvin Anderson’s quote at the Unity Church one Sunday, “keep your minds open but no so open that your brains fall out.”
Posted by ta44 
SoulClarity 