Not All Dreams Are Created Equal

November 30, 2015
trevor's dream

A Symbolic Dream

One of the first priorities when we start to work with dreams is to distinguish what to focus on, as not all dreams are created equal. Occasionally we can become overwhelmed trying to interpret every dream that enters our awareness. Recently, I have been witnessing dreams that come as an affirmation of our current life journey. It is as though the soul wants to assure us that we are on the right path. One dream-partner shared a dream of being able to sing beautifully, it was an amazing moment as she has always aspired to sing and now the voice in the dream was the one she had always longed for. She knew immediately that the dream was not about a vocal miracle; it was a declaration that she had found her voice in the world in which she lived.

So what are some of the other forms that dreams may take?

  • Junk Mail Dreams There are dreams that come simply to support us in discarding the psychic trash. These dreams are full of haphazard, overlapping images that can create chaos in the waking mind. Treat these like junk mail; they came to pass and perhaps clear some of the detritus from an overloaded mind.
  • Anxiety Dreams There are the classic anxiety dreams that everyone will occasionally encounter; you arrive at the airport without ticket, passport or bag; you sit an exam with no pencil or paper. These are a normally a sign of some harmless anxiety about a future event however if your dreams are always anxious then it will be important to explore the underlying cause.
  • Precognitive Dreams Infrequently you may have dreams that are pre-cognitive of a future event. These dreams are generally like a photograph: clear, accurate, no symbols. There is no explaining these dreams outside of the context that “we are more than we think we are”.
  • Collective Dreams Some dreams may represent something happening in the collective consciousness at the time. Carl Jung dreamed images of the First World War before it happened. I recall attending a meditation on the evening of September 11th 2001 and everyone except one person there had experienced disturbed sleep the night prior to the event.
  • Dreams of the Life Not Lived They totally intrigue me; I encountered them at a time when I was deeply involved in pursuing my spiritual quest and spending a lot of time in meditation and on retreat. I began to have these movie type dreams full of action and adventure; these were related to the lack of exciting activity in my life at the time. I always regretted that I could not recall them as I am convinced there was an Oscar contender in their somewhere.
  • Symbolic Dreams of Guidance The ones I focus on in my workshops. Much has been written and explored but look for these signs of a significant dream: it features people you know, three is a significant number, it contains emotion and energy, it is about travel, your waking self tells you it is a “stupid meaningless dream”, and particularly if you have similar dreams on a theme.
  • Dreams Outside of Time Sometimes these symbolic guidance dreams occur before the event in question has occurred; this can be confusing but very affirming after the event has transpired and you realize that you had a dream that helped you cope with the experience. I had one such dream recently. “I am standing on a ocean beach, I feel I am too close to the waves and move back to a safer distance however a huge wave swamps me right up to the centre of my chest then recedes leaving me no worse for wear. My sister Chris and her daughter Amy are there. The scene segues to a sparse forest with lots of space between the trees. Suddenly I put my hands in my pocket and find my keys missing, then I think I find them and then realize they are not the right keys as my shorts have changed. I begin to panic as it is getting dark, my sister and I retrace our steps, she finds my keys hanging in a tree.” This dream is about allowing myself to get swamped by emotion and knowing I will be safe then trusting that although I may not know what is going on the “key” lies through the feminine feelings. This dream came a couple of months before the event actually took place.
  • Energy Dreams My dream partner reminded me there are also dreams of pure energy. They are not always easy to understand but frequently offer a sense of connection to the divine through our chi and our chakras. In this type of dream the body can feel as though an electric current is flowing through it.
  • Dreams of Invention It was a dream that led Einstein to develop his theories of relativity and Elias Howe, inventor of the sewing machine, had a dream of being surrounded by cannibals with long spears with a hole in the end that helped him solve where the eye in the needle needed to go.

As my wonderful teacher Atum O’Kane says, “Having a dream and failing to explore it is like receiving a gift and not unwrapping it.For a free dream partnering download go to http://www.soulclarity.com/free_taste.html


The Souls Journey – Letting Go of Flow

February 1, 2020

“The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft a-gley.” The wise words of Robbie Burns that I do my best to prove wrong. How frequently I strive to manage all the variables to achieve a specific result and circumstances conspire to pervert my goals. As this seems a prevalent theme in my life, it reminds me to pay attention.

Recently I took off for Whistler with my friend Lorne. It was not a blue sky day and the alpine was closed for avalanche control but as visibility looked poor I was happy to ski the lower slopes. Then the Seventh Heaven Express opened. I felt torn as my friend Lorne was keen to go for fresh tracks. Finally I told him to go without me. We could stay in touch by text and meet later.

At the age of 75 I have enormous apprehension about skiing in flat light where my depth perception completely disappears. Those who ski know that loss of confidence can cause technique and ability dissipate. So I felt good in my decision and had lots of mountain to explore.

At this moment I seemed to lose flow in my day. First I had passed the easy access to the run I was looking for and had to cross some challenging terrain; then I could not find the lift I was looking for; I got a text from Lorne telling me “Dude it’s epic . Vis is good.” – not what I wanted to hear! (Note to self, practice “mudita” – the Buddhist term for sympathetic joy for someone else’s positive fortune.) Then I noticed my phone had gone from 100% to 1% raising issues about how we would reconnect.

I decided to head to the chair he was riding hoping I would bump into him. I took the high trail by mistake and had to navigate steep icy moguls to get there then the line up was considerable; there was no sign of Lorne in the mass of humanity. I had no phone signal. This was fast becoming a day to forget!

I made one run, the visibility must have declined, I made it down but had missed the good powder. I borrowed someone’s phone in the line up and left a message for him. Things seemed to brighten when I found him waiting at the top of the lift. We agreed to head down the easy way to the restaurant at the top of the mountain. He set off confidently in a direction I did not expect but uncomplaining I followed.

Little did I know at that precise moment it would be akin to the British Cavalry following Lord Cardigan in The Charge of The Light Brigade: “into the valley of death rode the five hundred.”

Well it was only one but it felt like the valley of death. I found myself on the brink of a huge alpine bowl, with atrocious visibility and no choice but to either call the ski patrol for rescue or descend 2500 vertical feet in the very conditions I had been trying to avoid.

So my early decision to avoid these conditions had actually resulted in a situation a minimum of ten times worse. The terrain was steeper, the light worse and the distance much longer.

I will not even try to describe my abject misery of the next half an hour. Lorne did his best to guide me down as “my seeing eye dog”. I did my best to avoid screaming at him “you f***ing idiot, don’t you know your way around yet. You used to draw maps for the mountain!!”

Apart from moments when I was lying in the snow wondering if I could ever get up, I avoided spending too much time feeling a victim. Eventually we got to tree line where vision improves and then to the Glacier Lodge restaurant and could enjoy a debrief.

The good news that my philosophy of being curious about my experience overrode my need to blame or judge him. (And he shared his lunch with me as an unspoken apology.)

It did seem that this was a conspiracy of circumstances that in hindsight was predestined. I felt a tad self congratulatory that I had not got bad tempered, or too frustrated and got over the experience immediately. There were days in my earlier life when I would not have been quite so sanguine.

But was there meaning? Ironically had I overcome my fears and followed Lorne in the first place I would have had a much better day skiing powder before it and the visibility evaporated. On the other hand had I spoken up at the top about our direction, I would have avoided the nightmare run. I sense it comes back to the lesson of Equanimity that is my theme word for the year. I wrote about it in December concerning my travails en route to Mexico. (https://wp.me/phAyS-Fs)

I think my lesson in practicing equanimity will take many forms. The dictionary defines it as “mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.” Equanimity looks much more accessible through the rear view mirror. Perhaps equanimity requires letting go of my attachment to flow and accepting it takes practice to make perfect.

 

 


The Souls Journey – Splinter Personalities

January 18, 2020

At the end of the year I was feeling somewhat judgmental about my output as a blogger. I decided to check my WordPress site and to my surprise I had published 16 under SoulClarity, 9 under DreamClarity and 6 On The Road, my travel blog so in fact it had been quite a productive year. However, what surprised me most was to see a blog I that wrote in 2015  was viewed by over 200 people last year. I was flummoxed. How could that many people find it?

It was titled Splinter Personalities – Anxiety, Energy and the Unconscious. The year it was published it had 35 views and now has reached 715. Presumably some strange anomaly in the search engines resulted in people encountering it. I decided to read it myself and consider updating

First to explain how I understand the concept of splinter personalities. It derives from the work of C.G Jung and refers to the variety of personalities that we each may employ at different times. So imagine those moments when you may say, “Well I wasn’t myself.” Who were you? Circumstances can cause us to shape shift into a persona that is uncomfortable, sometimes unfamiliar and normally short term. This is like a splinter or faction that temporarily breaks off from our normal personality.

These deviations from our norms are generally triggered by circumstances that tap deep into our history into what Jung would refer to as complexes. Eminent Jungian Analyst James Hollis, in his profound audio book, “Through The Dark Wood” suggests that our life is predominantly lived in service to powerfully charged, deeply reinforced messages. These are complexes – structures that can carry a large charge of energy and a charged historic experience can cause us to act unconsciously. Given the right activation, or stimulus one can get thrust back into that disempowered time of the formation of the core idea.

When I originally wrote the blog I had an encounter at a social gathering that was profoundly challenging yet most of the time I had no idea what was transpiring. A bit like a wave in a storm wind, I seemed to being pushed in a direction with no control of the outcome except to inevitably crash somewhere.

I began to feel harassed, a victim, outnumbered by my guests. I began to wish I had never invited them. I sank back in my chair. I tried to retreat but my friends pursued me. I felt uptight, my energy would not shift, my anxiety and angst grew and they both suggested I was being hostile.

I sat feeling as though I was an outsider at my own party. I was told my energy was like a negative barrier. I knew I was in the grip of something but had no idea what and desperately wanted to find out. I would have preferred to leave but it was my house. I sat feeling almost paralyzed and unable to regain my composure.

Then something magical occurred. The words “I was feeling attacked” entered my head and it felt like a light switch being turned on. I realized that the person sitting abjectly outside of the group was my thirteen year old self. This was a splinter personality. My energy was that of a sullen, glowering teenager. This was the age when I began to run away from life. It had all been too painful to stand up; it led to failure and hurt feelings. Being combative had rarely been effective, in fact at times I felt like my own worst enemy. Retreat was a safer and less damaging option.

At this point the energy autonomously lifted. My body felt differently, I felt calmer and more peaceful and both of my friends could feel the shift. The complex had been disarmed by the journey of enquiry and understanding. The relationship of energy, anxiety and the unconscious is complex and at times confusing yet it is a sign of something requiring healing.

As the great Sufi poet Rumi observed, “This being human is a guest house, every morning a new arrival, a joy, a meanness, a depression, some momentary awareness, comes as an unexpected visitor, welcome and entertain them all”.

 


The Souls Journey – Searching for Equanimity

December 16, 2019

One of my favourite aspects of Buddhism is what is described as the four immeasurable – equanimity, compassion, loving kindness and sympathetic joy. Recently the cosmos seems to have blessed me with a number of opportunities to practice equanimity.

This is not one of my natural traits. My niece Amy refers to a common genetic response of my family that she refers to as the Simpson spin. She has noticed it in my two younger siblings as well as myself. We come by it honestly as our father role modelled the spin during our childhood. Needless to say this is practically the opposite of equanimity.

Recently I was preparing for my visit to Mexico where I am writing this. I went to check in on line but they could not find my booking. (So at least the story has a good ending) I tried a few times to no avail. It would appear fleetingly then finally disappeared completely. I decided to call Air Canada for verification but their system had imploded under call pressure as they had switched on-line systems. They could not even put me on hold.

I still had my original booking in my email so I printed it out and the next morning ready to leave I arrived at the airport with almost two hours spare to find out they had no plane flying to Mexico that day. Immediately anxiety set. I could feel this flood of stress created by the news. I could see it but in that moment despite trying to calm myself, focus on the breath and using the tools I had learned to help establish equanimity, it did not work.

I was directed to ticketing where there was a line of only two people, but I stood there impatient, angry and upset. In my state the wait seemed endless however eventually I got called to the wicket and a pleasant woman confirmed there was no plane that day but I had been rescheduled for tomorrow. I let go of my impulse to debate and complain. In fact I noticed an immediate shift in how I was feeling and as I began my journey back home I realized that my stress was caused by uncertainty and once that was cleared up I actually felt quite content to spend another day in rainy Vancouver. I did my best to see it as a gift and was quite productive which was a pleasant outcome. I did however write to the airline and expressed my concern that this it happened, and later they offered me 25% discount on my next flight.

The next day the lesson continued. The security line up was amazingly slow and I could feel tension building up. This time I was able to simply focus on breathing in and out and the inexorable line crept forward as I stayed calm and relaxed.

This was followed by a long haul through Mexican immigration but again the same strategy worked. Then the final test was clearing customs where I faced the longest line I have ever seen. This time I had a very irate, negative fellow traveller behind. The constant stream of negative comments and hostile energy was relentless.

The breath strategy was hard to hold on to and I tried sending him positive energy at the same time. Suddenly it felt calmer and I turned around to see him cheating the system and taking a short cut. Normally this would drive me crazy but I felt only relief. I think the words of the wonderful Persian proverb are a great reminder when equanimity is challenged, “This too shall pass”. In 25 minutes I was on my way, even missing my bus connection did not concern me, just arriving was such a joy.

I sense that learning equanimity is a great gift. Pema Chodren In her wonderful little book, “Comfortable with Uncertainty” teaches about equanimity as follow, “We practice catching ourselves when we feel attraction or aversion before it hardens into grasping or negativity.” I may not be there yet but I am heading in the right direction. As the great Sufi port Rumi suggested. “The real truth of existence is sealed until after many twists and turns of the road.”


The Soul’s Journey – Emotional Contagion

December 14, 2019

Recently I facilitated a small group who meet each month for spiritual support and guidance. We begin with a meditation and then each person checks in with something from their current story. One member shared her deep sense of loss and grief on the demise of a partner a year earlier.

The group does not interact during this sharing but save questions and comments until the end. On this occasion another person shared her how touched she was and launched into her own story of her own loss twenty years earlier.

I could feel a shift in the emotions of the group and thought I needed to try and moderate this so I asked a question of the person who seemed the most composed. Her response was to begin to cry. I realized then that the whole group had descended into grief.

For a brief moment I experienced a sense of overwhelment and sat back wondering what was the appropriate response? In this situation I have learned to take a few slow, steady breaths so for a moment I just sat awaiting inspiration and it came. The person who had accelerated this spiral of grief began to apologize for taking so much time sharing her old story. Then to my amazement every member of the group shifted from grief into caretaking her.

It afforded me the opportunity to talk about changes of state and that we all needed some tools or activities to manage our own feelings. It is not about repression or suppression but rather being able to shift from feelings to a more composed state. Exercise is an excellent way to create endorphins that help to calm anxiety. I find humour, walking in nature and beauty and sharing the story with someone can really help me shift.

The following day I began to explore the phenomenon of what I learned is called “emotional contagion”. Somewhat to my surprise this is an accepted psychological term and that most emotions can be transferred. I think we have all experienced being sucked into vortex by negative people and who hasn’t found themselves laughing without quite knowing why?

Recently in a podcast on Tapestry (a CBC program – a weekly exploration of spirituality, religion and the search for meaning) I listened to Dr. Steven Stosny talk about Headline Stress disorder and how people not only become more angry and resentful after being exposed to headline news, their feelings can be picked up by others. In couples counselling he finds his clients are more resentful and more angry after listening to the news.

When the next group came around I had an amazing example of both positive emotional contagion and shifting of state. The first person to share expressed her negativity towards Christmas as it reminds her of her partner who died only a couple of years previously. Once again I could feel the empathy of the group shifting. However at the end of her sharing she drew an angel card from the bowl on the table. It said “Flexibility” and her outrage was such that the whole group broke into laughter and the mood immediately shifted.

What popped into my head were the words of the Sufi poet hafiz “What is this precious love and laughter budding in our hearts? It is the glorious sound of a Soul waking up.” (interpreted by Daniel Ladinsky)


The Soul’s Journey – Is There Any Such Thing As a Bad Meditation?

November 26, 2019

During the early days of my meditation practice I recall attending a meditation workshop on Primordial Meditation, Deepak Chopra’s version of Transcendental Meditation and on video he stated that there was no such thing as a bad meditation. I have held to this belief through good times and bad.

Imagine my concern recently to listen to a podcast from one of my favourite CBC broadcasts – Tapestry (Tapestry is a weekly exploration of spirituality, religion and the search for meaning.) and hear Professor Ralph Purser accuse the military and corporations of hijacking mindfulness for their own nefarious purposes. Could it be true? Can meditation be put to negative use?

The professor’s premise is that mindfulness is being used by corporations as a stress reduction tool to maximize profits, and by the military to help soldiers become more focussed. I listened with dismay – had my premise been fallacious all these years. Then the interviewer asked a question about the writer’s strong negative critique of Jon Kabat-Zynn on the ground he introduced mindfulness to corporations and the elite.

At this point Purser’s credibility dissipated. I have a great respect for Jon Kabat-Zynn as a teacher and a human being. Perhaps I am not wrong after all. I found 4,970 Google hits for the words, “there is no such thing as a bad meditation” so I have numbers on my side. I am also in the company of such luminaries as renowned author and motivational speaker the late Dr. Wayne Dyer who always stated the same.

American philosopher Ken Wilbur suggests that meditation can accelerate the development of human consciousness and that the only way to test this hypothesis is to begin meditation. I feel meditation is a bit like a wonder drug except it is free with no side effects. Proven benefits include reducing stress, stimulating the immune system, increasing blood flow, regulating the heart beat, improving mood, activating the intuitive faculties, strengthening neural pathways, and improving compassion and empathy.

Dr. Andrew Weil sent me an email summarizing the seven benefits of meditation that he is aware of then I encountered a wonderful book by Rick Hansen titled, “ Buddha’s Brain – the practical neuroscience of happiness, love and wisdom which listed a dozen more. It is easy to convince yourself of the positives of meditation if you take the trouble to review the data.

The military may think they can use mindfulness meditation to create better soldiers, and corporations may consider they can improve profitability by reducing stress but what do they really know? Perhaps this is more like a Trojan Horse that looks like a gift but insidiously begins a process of creating better, more self aware human beings that change the very institutions that thought they were controlling them.

It is these institutions that most need a shift of hearts and minds and I suspect that more will be accomplished by Jon Kabatt-Zynn bringing mindfulness to corporate and world leaders than will ever be achieved by the attacks of the professor.


The Soul’s Journey – Holding The Opposites

November 22, 2019

During my morning meditation this morning, a thought intervened. Before I could wave it away and return to the breath it observed, “Stop worrying, let him have his way, why do you care, it’s his event, and you won’t be doing this again.” I brought my focus back to the breath but some time later another thought interrupted, “You have a responsibility, you are not acting with integrity, you need to have a voice, you know you are right”. Once again I waved it farewell and returned to my mindfulness practice.

It was not until some time later as I sat with my morning tea reflecting on the glorious Fall day in Vancouver and recording some thoughts in my journal that, the memory of the two voices returned. It was not all unfamiliar – the voice of compliance versus the voice of confrontation. I had honed these two opposite responses in my relationship to my authoritative father.

As a child and for much of my adult life these voices had been almost entirely reactive and I rarely felt in control of which would emerge. Once I got fired when the confrontive voice emerged with one of my bosses and I told him, “You do not have a constructive bone in your body.” Other times I have slunk away feeling like a small disgraced child.

More recently in my quest to become conscious I have learned to pause, to take a breath and perhaps deliberate on my response. Management Guru Steven Covey’s words “Between the stimulus and response there is a gap” in his renowned book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People® has been remarkably helpful to pave the way.

More recently eminent Jungian analyst James Hollis in his book Living The Examined Life reminds me of C.G. Jung’s advice, “to suffer the dimension of the opposites within ourselves as long as we can bear it and to wait upon the appearance of the third” Hollis suggests that the third embodies the discernment of which choice summons us to a more developmental journey. It is time to wait and discern.

This week I have also encountered the need to try and maintain positivity relative to the global comedy that we seemed destined to play out. Recently I listened to two podcasts – one titled Does the Deep State Exist, a devastating report by journalist Jack Livesay on how the “Deep State” undermines democracy and in fact represents the fulfillment of a prophecy by President Dwight D Eisenhower  on the dangers of the military-industrial complex.

And the other by Sacha Baron Cohen, a brilliant, insightful damnation of how the social networks breed fake news, propagate hate and are also destroying democracy.

In between I watched a delightful travelogue featuring British comedienne and raconteur Joanna Lumley in her series The Silk Road where she follows in the footsteps of Marco Polo. This episode took place in Iran and was fascinating, intriguing, beautiful but most of all so different to perceptions of Iran we get from our media. The people were so lovely, friendly, helpful and wonderful examples of the capacity of our genus for kindness and generosity.

I felt a welling up of sadness at the possibility if certain factions of the US military industrial complex have their way, bombs will rain down on these cousins of hours. What kind of species are we when the killing of innocent human beings becomes an acceptable by product of the insatiable desire for weapons production. So here again the need to hold the opposites of human behaviour and wonder how to sustain hope in light of the terrible possibilities.

Ironically I believe I know the answer but whether it is remotely achievable is another question. It requires the changing of hearts and minds to perhaps what the Buddha referred to as “The Four Immeasurables – Loving Kindness, Compassion, Sympathetic Joy and Equanimity”. Then we can redistribute wealth, eliminate violence, guarantee basic standards for living and resolve global warming. This is easy to say but difficult to do. It is by no way new, and every wisdom tradition has at its heart the same principles. Yet I wonder if we can survive as a species long term unless we can radically change.

So I can only hold these opposites about our species. On the one hand peaceful, creative, ethical, loving, caring, capable of great change, advancement and self sacrifice. On the other fearful, grasping, greedy, manipulative, violent and selfish with the capacity to willfully destroy our selves. Perhaps I can find hope in this beautiful Cherokee story:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

 He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”


The Soul’s Journey – Have I Lost my Mojo?

November 6, 2019

Recently my sister called to check on me and as the conversation unfolded I realize she had some concerns about me. She told me her daughter Amy thought I had lost my Mojo. I was both fascinated and alarmed by the idea that I had left such an impression on my niece.

I thought I should check precisely what Mojo means and found out that the traditional meaning is magical power, a spell or talisman. However in the Cambridge English dictionary it describes Mojo as a quality that attracts people to you and makes you successful and full of energy.

How disconcerting! What had I said to give that impression?

I went to my journal to assess what has been happening in my life at the time of the conversation. To my surprise I had been at my beautiful place in Cortes island and recall feeling particularly joyful and positive at that time. Obviously this had not been translated in my discussion with my niece. My curiosity mounted. What resulted in the impression that she passed on to her mother?

My sister explained that she thought it was connected with a conversation about spirituality and that Amy believed I had lost my belief. A light shone dimly through the fog surrounding my recollection. I recalled sharing with Amy that I had found the simplicity of my earlier beliefs had been transcended by a complexity around holding opposites. I was feeling less clarity and more confusion about my path but I was not concerned as I knew I was in good company. Eminent author and Jungian analyst James Hollis suggests that signs of a spiritual maturity were that, “ The mystery will transcend our desires for clarity and certainty.” The mystery perhaps had become more mysterious after the following transition that occurred last year.

I have just concluded Sapiens by Noah Yuval Harari and I am feeling disturbed. For 25 years I have lived with the belief we are spiritual beings having a human experience and not the other way around. Suddenly this is in question. Previously I had been reading Guns Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond an equally depressing saga of human viciousness and brutality. Where I asked myself, in the bloody, violent, competitive, destructive story of our genus was there any indication of underlying spiritual beings? It was a strange moment to consider letting go of something that had so powerfully influenced the journey of my life and has helped me find meaning in my own experiences. Suddenly like a match extinguishing itself in the dark the light was gone.

Then I asked myself a question. What remains if I let go of this concept of the eternity of a Soul moving from incarnation to incarnation in some mysterious way I did not understand. What would then remain? I went for a walk allowing this confusion and lack of clarity to be absorbed in the exquisite beauty of a Vancouver evening. I noticed no distress I just felt different. I sensed it was yet another evolution of my worldview and there have been many.

I reviewed what remained: I still believed in a guiding force that I call the inner compass in my life. I continue to relate to the concept of the unconscious with all its unseen power over me. I will continue to seek meaning in my life and unravel my own psychology and explore this mystery I am part of it. The driver of this I still choose to call Soul ,for now I give up the need of immortality. I felt a sense of relief.

Then I saw an enormous gift from this transition. It seems to me that the preciousness of this one life expands once one can no longer rely on anything to follow. It creates a sense of responsibility to the collective to support its positive unfolding. I came across a relevant quote from James Hollis that seemed inspiring, “What I long for is an experience of this life that I would not trade for an eternity in those Elysian Fields.”

I have certainly been undergoing a transition in my belief structure. However I always believed continuing change is a positive and not negative. It is as though all the beliefs I have ever held are to some degree like those nesting Russian dolls and the new one both replaces and embraces the old.

I called my niece to ask her what she had meant and she seemed bemused. “Those are mum’s words, not mine”, she said. “I was just sharing our conversation and perhaps not doing a very good job.”

I laughed; it was another lesson in not making assumptions. The good news is my Mojo seems intact and to quote the words of Julian of Norwich “All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.”

NB I came across this wonderful poem by my friend Ann Ladd who writes beautifully about the sense of deconstruction on the spiritual journey.

Humble Journey

My certainty is tattered and torn

shredded beyond recognition

It is frightening, though inevitable

to dismantle the platform

that gave me a view of the world

that allowed surety of

purpose an action

 

The world as it is!

Bedevilled by its shocking

unfairness and cruelty,

graced by its generosity

and indescribable beauty,

reluctant acceptance

humbles me,

leaving only the choice

of attitude and action

in a given moment.

I choose forgiveness and

loving-kindness.