My introduction to the concept of the cosmic two by four coincided with a moment when it appeared that the
limitations of chronological time had been breached. It is story I have been reticent to share in detail, fearing accusations of delusion, but as it changed my life and my belief system, I felt it consistent with my intention to “shine my light.” This experience took place at Unity Village in Missouri where I was undertaking a fairly rigorous program of study and personal growth. One course I was taking involved healing and was based on the belief that we have amazing untapped capacity to heal. Although somewhat skeptical I was open to the possibility and found myself deeply engaged as an inspiring teacher shared her own experience of healing a burn that under normal circumstances would likely have required hospital treatment. She expressed a belief that the major challenge in healing of wounds was the mind which once engaged could not shake free from old patterns.
A little later in the week I had arisen early to meditate and was shaving when I felt the razor seriously slash my jaw. Instinctively I turned off the light in the bathroom as I did not want to see the seriousness of the wound. I am not unused to deep shaving cuts and tried to let go of the image of blood streaming down my face. I attempted to check in with my intuitive guidance so when my instinct was to have a cold shower, I followed along. Then I was told to go back to bed and meditate. I have no idea how long but during this meditation I experienced a profound sense of vibrational energy flowing through the wounded area of my face. After this had elapsed, I felt guided to go to one of the many chapels and meditate. During this period I believed it was important not to look in the mirror. After returning to my room, I stretched, got dressed and went to class not knowing whether I had a stream or a trickle of blood running down my face, I just knew I was not ready to check. I sat in my first class of the day and the teacher put on a piece of music called Daystar by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir and I found myself in floods of tears. I felt a combination of fear that I would not be healed as well fear that I would. At the break I knew it was time to find out. I walked to the nearest washroom and I gazed anxiously in the mirror, no blood, just a faint scar of a healed razor cut. It was a miracle! I was convinced that I had experienced an accelerated healing process created by faith and my belief it could happen.
Now if this was the end of the story, I can imagine that anyone other than myself and the few who share similar beliefs, would be rolling their eyes and suspecting that I had made it all up. What proof did I have that I had even cut myself? Today upon reflection I wonder if I imagined it all. However in reality whether it actually happened is not the key issue, the essential element is that I believed it had occurred. Now I had learned this capacity to heal, there seemed no limit to the possibilities, I need never get sick again. So after a week of intense spiritual and personal encounters I was ready to return to Vancouver and put these things to work.
However I have missed a key factor in this saga. It may seem irrelevant but came to play a remarkable role in the ensuing drama. Sometime during the week, one of my friends named Robin had given me a tape with these words, “This sounds a bit stupid but for some reason I have to give you this tape.” Despite sounding a little like a take from Mission Impossible, I knew it was well meaning so I promised to listen to it on the way home, dropping it in my case and forgetting all about it. I had important things to think about. Where should I next employ the new healing powers I had mastered. En route to the airport I decided that the perfect opportunity would be to correct the myopia in the one eye that had not had laser surgery (seriously, I really believed I could do this). In hindsight I embarked on a bizarre experiment that involved, meditation, visualization, wearing a black eye patch like the Hathaway shirt man, and finally walking at 5.00 am on a beautiful Sunday morning preparing for the unveiling of yet another miracle.
I can still recall standing upstairs in my condo, holding my breath and removing the eye patch and for an instant I could see, and then I couldn’t. I felt crushed. What had happened? Was it lack of faith? Was it a cruel cosmic joke at my expense? I sank into a slough of despond, feeling totally disillusioned, betrayed, and bereft of belief. I began to feel like a fool. How could I possibly have deluded myself in this way? I slipped into inertia and grief. I lay on my couch unwilling to move or face the day. My ex-wife arrived to take me to the Unity church and I refused to accompany her. I decided that I was finished with all this religious/spiritual crap. I was going to slip back into my happy-go-lucky existence that preceded all this spiritual inquiry; I was getting off the Unity train; I was done like toast.
Then something unexpected intruded into my misery. I sensed a voice suggesting that now was the time to listen to the tape. For a moment resistance won out; at first it was “what tape?” and when I recalled Robin’s gift of a few days earlier I had no desire to hear it. Finally however, curiosity got the better of me, I found it and pressed “play”. I lay listlessly feeling sorry for myself as the tape droned on in the background. It was some Unity minister giving a sermon. Then I heard these words, “then God will strike you with his cosmic two by four”. I sat up; I had not heard this expression before; it sure sounded like I was feeling. I rewound the tape and sat in wonder as the Reverend Sally Taylor, told my story. “When you get in a state of ego-inflation, taking credit for your good then God has a cosmic two by four with a nail in it to blow away all that egocentricity.” She reminded me of something important, “you can’t take a creative response to one situation and use it for something else” and you can’t go back once you have started the journey of spiritual awareness.
I sat in awe. How could Robin have known that I was going to fall into this trap? She didn’t even know the story of the original healing, let alone anticipate my egocentricity that would develop. Yet she gave me the tape days before it all happened. I learned a valuable lesson about how easily the ego can attach itself to our spiritual life and seek its own aggrandizement but the ego alone does not have the power of co-creation. It may dress itself in God’s clothing but has no power to perform miracles. I reflected on the amazing power of intuition, and its ability to defy the normal constraints of time and space. I had been given a glimpse into just what a magical place the universe is, and a sense that God, whoever he or she is, has a great sense of humour.