Dreams and Decision-making

September 22, 2009

This blog was actually written by a close friend of mine. I have been looking for a case study on the power of dreams in decision-making and the universe reciprocated with this perfect example.

“A dear friend of mine – one of the sweetest women I know — called me over a year ago in emotional agony. She was, to my shock, thinking of separating from her husband of 20 years and ending what appeared to be a blissful, exemplary marriage. She was stuck in the “considering” stage – probably the most difficult time in any decision-making process – and was feeling deep desperation.  Her sense of oppression in the relationship was strong but her husband was a fine man and a good provider for their family and she could not put her finger on exactly how or why she felt she needed to leave.

Across the country and not sure how to help, I suggested she follow my friend Trevor’s 7-day decision-making process and offered to be her ‘ally’ over the phone. When it came time to request guidance from her dreams, she was very open to the idea. She could not remember dreaming in a very long time, but she told me that she used to have interesting and bizarre dreams on a regular basis. It was like a dam broke.  For three nights in a row, she dreamed vividly that she was suffocating and awoke in a panic, unable to breathe, as if her throat was clogged with cotton.  As she journaled the dreams, she knew at a marrow level that if she stayed any longer in the marriage, she would never be able to speak her truth, and would literally suffocate. She realized as she wrote that she had been under a passive form of house arrest for most of the last two decades, and that her compliance with her husband’s opinions, decisions, and requests was the reason their relationship appeared to be so blissful. There was a pillow over her face and one of the hands holding it down was her own.

She continued the decision-making process through to Day 7, and other affirmations surfaced, but none so powerful as the message from her dream. With her new awareness, she decided to share her feelings with her husband and, in counseling, it became sadly obvious that attempts to create new patterns of communication in their relationship would not be successful.  Officially separated for a year now, my friend’s voice has new strength, joy, confidence and optimism. And in the inevitable roller-coaster moments of self-questioning, loneliness, and fear, she recalls the message of suffocation from her dreams, and knows beyond any doubt that hers was a life-sustaining, soul-anchored decision, and truly the right one for her.”

I would love to hear from anyone else who has worked with dreams in making decisions.